What it is like to have cancer as a teen.

Teens often think they are immortal, nothing bad could ever happen to them. So when the doctors said the word "Cancer", I was in a state of disbelief; I was never the ill kid, bad things didn't happen to me. I should be kissing boys, hanging out with friends, going to school and have no care in the world. Cancer took that away from me.

Having cancer as a teen is hard, as you are at that awkward stage in your life: you are young and still needing a lot of guidance, but you understand a lot about everything. Which is scary at times. Sometimes I wish I was a little kid, because they don't understand what cancer is and the risks that come with it. Not being able to understand cancer would be amazing, because you wouldn't get anxiety that it could come back, you wouldn't cry every time you think of how life used to be, and you wouldn't be scared to death of what the future holds. 

I am not sure about anyone else who received treatment as a teen, but it makes you feel a lot younger. It made me not feel like a teen anymore, it made me feel like a child, because I needed to be cared for 24/7 and I felt vulnerable without my mum. I used to call myself a 'big baby' because I was bald and being constantly looked after. It kind of sucked as your teenage years are supposed to be about freedom, but cancer locks you away.

HORMONES! If you are a teenager you have probably been referred to as the following: "grumpy", "moody" and "big attitude". Hormones plus stress, can bring out the worst in you. Just imagine what it is like for us cancer teens! We have a lot more stress than the average teenager, so at a time like this we can get extremely distressed. I used to get agitated quite a lot if things didn't go my way or I was tired. The hardest thing for me was the stress building up causing me to have anxiety and depression. It was a very dark time for me. I would not want to do much, I would lay in bed all day feeling depressed and I would be on edge all the time with the anxiety. I especially got tearful a lot, if I felt like someone was trying to start an argument with me, be mean or even mentioned something I didn't like; I would break down in tears. Teens with illnesses go through such a hard time, because they are naturally anxious anyways due to hormones, I can completely understand how tough it is.

The hardest thing for me was missing school. I was very liked at school and I enjoyed it so much. I was a librarian, school council, on the sports teams and I was in top sets. So when I wasn't able to do it anymore, it hit me so hard and I missed it greatly. I would look through my classmates' snapchat stories and see them having fun at school, it tore shreds into my heart when I looked at those snapchat stories, as that should have been me there enjoying school with my classmates, but instead I was locked away in hospital.

I used to always day dream about what I would be like and all the great things I would be doing if I didn't have cancer. I don't think about that anymore, because I like to make the most of the present. Yeah, I know Ive got cancer and that sucks a lot, but I have learn't to accept it and I have realised that the present me is more important than the Ellie who was never supposed to be.
I embrace the fact I have cancer, I am proud that I have cancer because it has made me the person I am today. It has made me realise my full potential: I CAN inspire others, I CAN write a blog, I CAN do youtube videos, I CAN beat cancer and I CAN do anything my heart wants me to do! It has made me realise that other people's judgements aren't necessary. I would have never of done a youtube video before, as I would be too scared of what other people would think. Please do the things that YOU want to do. Teenagers can experience a lot of pressure to do certain things and be a certain way, but don't stop your dreams because of the people around you.
Cancer has stolen my childhood and has forced me to mature quicker than the average teenager. Cancer has opened my eyes to the fact that your life could change for the worst in a click of a finger. It has made me realise that you need to live every second to the full, because you don't know when it could end. Cancer has made me realise that life is so precious. You need to do things for you, do things that you won't regret and help others.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Being a teen with cancer is tough at times, but we realise that all you can do is be strong and pull through. Spreading love to all the Teen cancer warriors and survivors out there!

Ellie xxx

We NEED chemotherapy specifically for children!

We need your help to raise funds so we can create less harsh chemotherapy treatments for children. Children with cancer are receiving toxic adult chemotherapies which are so harsh on our small bodies they cause long term side effects, such as hearing loss and heart problems. But in Sydney's case the chemotherapy actually killed her.

Sydney was a very loving person, she was your typical teen - she loved surfing, hiking and painting. She was truly beautiful inside and out, she would light up the room when she came in.
Sadly, Sydney's family learn't on November 3rd 2015 that Sydney had Burkitts lymphoma, 3 large tumours were found in her abdominal area. Immediately Sydney started her first out of 6 rounds of chemotherapy. Sydney had scans after the third chemotherapy treatment and her oncologist said there was no evidence of disease - everything was looking up!
Shortly after Sydney's 6th and final round of chemotherapy, she was having what appeared to be side effects from the chemotherapy. Sydney had a fever early in the day, but nothing too high. The fever went away, however Sydney started vomiting when she went to bed. Sydney got up at 3:00am to go to use the bathroom, she was off balance. She went into the bathroom, shut the door and collapsed. Her mum ran into the bathroom, got Sydney out and laid her on the bed. She was barely breathing, then stopped, so her dad started performing CPR. The paramedics arrived and got Sydney's heart beat back, but had to breath for her. This continued in the hospital throughout the day. They declared that Sydney was brain dead. The chemotherapy killed multiple segments of Sydney's intestines and part of her stomach. The intestine ruptured the moment in the bathroom and poisoned her whole body to the point of full body shut down.

Sydney sadly passed away on March 18 2016, six short months after diagnosis.
Sydney will always be remembered for her loving,
strong and happy spirit.
RIP Sydney.

Sydney went too soon. This is why we need less harsh treatments. Sydney is a very rare case, however Sydney's story shows how toxic the treatments really are on children's bodies.
For instance, when I got radiotherapy they said I had a risk of developing cancer in later life because of the radiotherapy! The treatment that kills the cancer can actually give you cancer. How does that work?!
When do we stop and realise that a change needs to happen? With only 3 chemotherapy drugs specifically made for children, we deserve so much more! Please help raise funds for childhood cancer research charities, so the research can be made to make chemotherapy drugs for children, which are less harsh on our small bodies. Let's make a change for families like Sydney's, who have really felt the pain of the effects of adult chemotherapies on children.

Love Ellie xxx

How can you help children with cancer this September.

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, it is such an important month for children with cancer, like me, because we can have the chance to be heard. However, we can't do it all alone - WE NEED YOUR HELP!
Childhood cancer only gets 4% funding, therefore we have a lack of funding, meaning we have to receive adult treatments that are so harsh on our bodies it causes long-term side effects, and in some cases even death!
With your help we can fundraise to raise funds for life-saving research. And most importantly, spread awareness! With your help of spreading awareness we can show everyone the truth to childhood cancer, after all it is the No1 disease killer of children in the USA, so we desperately need more funding. Together, we can help children with cancer have a chance in life and not have to endure such harsh treatments.
I am hoping that by now you have made the righteous decision to help children with cancer this September, but how can you help?

Fundraising ideas:

• Bake sale.
• Sponsored run/walk.
• Coffee morning.
• Non-uniform day at school.
• Wear gold for the day.
• Karaoke night.
• Quiz night.
• Raffle.
• Sky diving.
• Head shave.
• Cinema screening.
• Dance/disco.
• Sell your unwanted items.
• Sponsored silence.
• Tuck shop.
• Talent show.

Help us spread awareness:

• Take a video of your self saying 'More than 4% for childhood cancer.'. Share it with your friends and family on social media, and get them to take part as well.
• Re-post pictures and articles about childhood cancer on social media.
• Tell your family and friends about Childhood cancer awareness month, and get them involved.
• Wear a childhood cancer ribbon pin. 
• Do an assembly at school.

Who to fundraise for:

It can be a hard to decision who to give the money you have raised to. I would recommend giving it to a childhood cancer charity, or a children's cancer ward, or to a child you know who has been affected by cancer. (Links to fundraising sites will be at the end of this post)

• If you want to donate your money so you can help families affected by cancer and help keep charity hospital houses running: I recommend donating to 'CLIC sergeant' (UK).
• If you want to help teenager's with cancer: Donate to 'Teenage cancer trust' (UK) or' Teen cancer America'.
• To help fund research for childhood cancer: 'Children with Cancer Uk' or 'American Childhood cancer organisation' or 'My room' (AUS)
• If you want to raise money for a specific childhood cancer, search on the internet for one.
• Donate your money to a charity who gifts presents and wishes to children with cancer: 'Chelsea's Angels' (UK) or 'Make a wish' or 'Star light' 
• Donate to a childhood cancer ward: Find out your nearest childhood cancer ward and grant them the money.
• When I began my cancer journey a team of mums from the school set up #TeamEllie which was amazing, because they got a lot of people to fundraise for me, so when I was well enough I could afford to go on holiday and do the things I have always wanted to do. You could also do this for a child with cancer you know, it will make them so happy.

Please fundraise and spread awareness for children with cancer this September, thank you.

Ellie xxx

Links to childhood cancer charities:

Clic sergeant: http://www.clicsargent.org.uk

Teenage cancer trust: https://www.teenagecancertrust.org

Teen cancer America: https://www.teencanceramerica.org

Children with cancer UK: http://www.childrenwithcancer.org.uk

American childhood cancer organisation: http://www.acco.org

My room: https://www.myroom.com.au

Chelsea's angels: http://www.chelseasangels.co.uk

Make a wish: https://www.make-a-wish.org.uk

Star light: http://www.starlight.org.uk