Mixing cancer with school

Before I got cancer I would walk through the school hallways barely getting a single glance, however now I have cancer I seem to be centre of attention- I almost feel like a celebrity at school. Recently I have been attending school on a regular basis, it is a lot of fun, but I don't really feel like I fit in anymore. My good friends even from before I got cancer don't know what to say to me, it is like being the new kid every single day. It doesn't really bother me, but for some other people I have talked to who also have cancer have said they hate being at school because of all the stares and how differently you are treated. School is much harder for me now, it is so much more tiring and school work doesn't come as easy to me as it did before. School really shows me how little energy I have, before I would do a full day of school and then run after school, however now a couple of hours tires me out, thats one thing I have found very hard- I just wish I had enough energy to do everything my friends are doing.

CHEMO BRAIN!!!

Before I got cancer I could easily memorise two pages of french writing in a week, but now with chemo brain it would probably take me 3 weeks! Chemo brain has been hard for me, just little things like forgetting something my mum told me or not being able to concentrate on school work without getting very tired. Does anyone else have this? It is very annoying and I am nervous that it will hold me back for the rest of my life, but I guess you kind of learn to live with it. I have a few tips to help with your chemo brain:

• Writing down things, or setting reminders on your phone.
• Taking regular breaks so you don't tire yourself out to much.
• Plenty of rest and eat healthy.
• Avoid chilling for too long in the day otherwise you don't really have the motivation to do anything productive. 
• Have a calendar.

Repeating a school year

Repeating the school year is often used as a sign of stupidity, but we aren't stupid, we just had to take several months off to kick cancer's butt- which is much more important! Even though having cancer was a horrid experience, we learnt more than you could ever teach in a school year- we learnt about medicines, medical procedures, types of cancers, listened to other people's stories, immersed ourself in hospital culture and most importantly learnt the true meaning of life- it was the best/worst gap year we could ever have!

I am going to miss my year a lot, and even though moving to a new year group is nerve-wracking it is also exciting. Think of it like this, you will be older than everyone else and if your school allows you then you get to go to TWO PROMS!!! I know it still isn't the ideal situation but we just have to make the best of it.

Dealing with questions from people at school.

Personally, I don't mind answering most questions people ask me, I think it is great as they are showing an interest and I want to teach people what having cancer is like. For some people going back to school is a place where they like to feel normal, so an abundance of questions about cancer isn't always what you want. I would simply say to the person asking you the question that you would rather not talk about cancer, I am sure they will respect your request.

Feeling like you don't belong

I wish I could walk around school without getting stares, I wish people who were my friends before would actually talk to me, I wish I wasn't seen so differently. Getting stares is very horrible at school, you feel self conscious as you have so many eyes watching you. Obviously it is a shock to see the kid who has been away with such a serious illness, but I have been at school for a couple of months now, surely you are used to me by now? It just feels like we don't fit in anymore, I don't really have a solution for this except to just wait and ignore the stares. The shock of seeing someone like us won't go away over night but it will get better with time, and just ignore the stares, I just walk with pride and strength. 

We are like celebrities, the school halls are our red carpet and the students are our paparazzi! (; 

Thank you for reading this blog post, I really hope you found this helpful. Mixing school and cancer can be hard but we just need to remember that we fought cancer, so whatever tough school situations are thrown at us, we can handle! 

Ellie xxx