If you knew me before treatment I was up beat, very active and I stood up for what I believed in. That's just not me anymore. Ever since starting radiotherapy the side effects have made me down, slightly lose my fighting spirit and not believe I can do things. I see kids in the ward who have just had their chemo and they are running around like nutters, whereas there is me who isn't pushing themselves to even walk far without my wheelchair!
At the beginning I was strong and optimistic, I'm not saying that I'm not now but I have just let my anxiety get to me so much that I'm hardly the same person anymore! It's really upset me that my cancer has led me to this, I should be happy that treatment is nearly over but as much as I try to be happy; I can't.
Today is a start of something great-trying to find the old me hidden behind depression and anxiety.
I'm getting a therapist so I can learn how to deal with my anxiety and I'm going to try and push myself to do more things and finally believe I can do them again! I know the old me is screaming to come out but I have to sort out the new me before I can get back to the old me. It's going to be hard but it will be better for me and for you guys, my blogs will be better and Im also thinking of filming cancer advice youtube videos, and I can't really give the best advice if I'm not fully understanding my problems myself.
Thank you everyone for reading my blog! I can't wait to get back to the old me and I just want to say thank you for always supporting me- you guys have got me through!
I BEAT CANCER, SO I CAN BEAT THIS!!!!
Ellie xxx
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ReplyDeleteI want to thank Dr Emu a very powerful spell caster who help me to bring my husband back to me, few month ago i have a serious problem with my husband, to the extend that he left the house, and he started dating another woman and he stayed with the woman, i tried all i can to bring him back, but all my effort was useless until the day my friend came to my house and i told her every thing that had happened between me and my husband, then she told me of a powerful spell caster who help her when she was in the same problem I then contact Dr Emu and told him every thing and he told me not to worry my self again that my husband will come back to me after he has cast a spell on him, i thought it was a joke, after he had finish casting the spell, he told me that he had just finish casting the spell, to my greatest surprise within 48 hours, my husband really came back begging me to forgive him, if you need his help you can contact him with via email: Emutemple@gmail.com or add him up on his whatsapp +2347012841542 is willing to help any body that need his help.
DeleteLove you❤️
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing and inspire me everyday and you will be a happier brighter you!!!!
ReplyDeleteTo say I'm immensely proud of you is an understatement!!!!!
With you every step of the way!!!!
Love you more than words can say ❤️XXXX
Your incredible Ellie, knowing what is wrong is the first step in recovering from it!! Keep fighting xxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYour incredible Ellie, knowing what is wrong is the first step to fixing it. Keep fighting xxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteYour amazing and strong, stronger than I would ever be if I had been through what u have xxxstay strong your nearly there xxx
ReplyDeleteEllie - you will emerge as a different person. You have had an experience that we all dread but faced it with grit and determination all the way through your treatment. At the moment you are still feeling the effects of your treatment, but as you begin to feel better and the sun starts to shine again - both outside in the garden and in your mind - things will improve. You have the love and support of so many around you and you can turn to them at any time. You are amazing and are stronger than you think. Lots of love to you xxx
ReplyDeleteThere's a quote I keep hearing lately that I find inspiring "Bravery is not the absence of fear, but rather the strength to keep going despite the fear". Ell, at the age of 14 you've already gone through something tougher than the rest of us will probably ever go through in our lives. You're by far the bravest person I know.
ReplyDeleteAll the things you're feeling are completely natural, trust me anyone who's been through what you have and isn't feeling down would not be normal.
Little bit by little bit you're getting through this and we're all so incredibly proud of the way in which you've handled this horrible situation, it's shown maturity that the rest of us can only strive for one day.
Hang in there Ellsie, you're doing amazing and you're going to get back to doing all those things you love again soon.
Loads of love Tim and Mai xxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Ellie,
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what you're going through physically and emotionally. Many people will never have to face something so challenging and difficult in their lives. The things you're feeling are normal and healthy. After all you've gone through, how could you not have bad/dark days or change as a result?
What's amazing is that you recognize how you've changed and you are determined to work on finding yourself again! That in itself takes a lot of strenth and maturity! And on top of that, you are brave enough to share your journey with the world! Your honesty, openness and vulnerability is a beautiful thing and inspiring!! Thank you for sharing with us! Keep fighting and smiling and know that there are tons of people out here supporting you! Sending lots of love to you and your family. ��
@steph_raeann
I just want to give a quick advise to any one out there that is having difficulty in his or her relationship to contact Dr.Agbazara because he is the only one that is capable to bring back broken relationship or broken marriages within time limit of 48 hours. You can contact Dr.Agbazara by calling him on his mobile +2348104102662 or write him through his email at ( agbazara@gmail.com )
ReplyDeleteI promise to share this testimony all over the world once my HUSBAND return back to me, and today with all due respect i want
ReplyDeleteto thank Dr AJAYI for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found DR AJAYI a male spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my HUSBAND back in three days after the spell has been cast. three days later, my phone rang, and shockingly, it was my husband who has not called me for long, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to devote the rest of his life with me. priceless released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have to share together. As I’m writing this testament right now I’m the cheeriest girl on earth and me and my fiance is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that’s why I promised to share my testimony all over the
universe. All thanks goes to priceless for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is his email address in situation,
email: drajayi1990@gmail.com or Whatsapp : +2347084887094 you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done
mine for me, he will definitely help you too. drajayi1990@gmail.com