When I got told I had cancer...

I've been blogging for quite a while now, and I think now is a suitable time to tell you about when I got told I had cancer. This was such an emotional experience for me, and I want to share it with you guys.

September 13th 2015

I knew it, even before the words left my mother's mouth. I could see the fear in her eyes. Her hesitation to say the word felt never-ending, but when she finally did it hit my like a bomb.

Fear erupted my body. I was so scared... I thought I was going to die.
I burst into an uncontrollable wreck, sobbing whilst screaming to the top of my lungs. The screaming helped drown out the thought of it.

I didn't want to think of it anymore, the room felt like it was infected with the memory. I had to get out of the room. With my mum I walked slowly around the hospital ward, my mum comforted me as we walked, we were both crying. It calmed me down and helped me come to terms with things.
When I returned to my room I wanted to tell my family & friends , letting it out felt better than keeping it in.
That night I couldn't sleep at all. I laid awake, trying to forget felt impossible. I felt very anxious to get sent to Nottingham Hospital, a place I didn't know and was not close to home. I had no idea what the next few weeks would bring me, but I was ready to start this battle!




I am in tears whilst writing you this blog, that day will forever scar me. I look back at that day and see a start to a new journey, a journey that thankfully now I can see an end to. It was the worst day of my life, but the day that saved my life.

Ellie xxx