Team Ellie

Team Ellie

Saturday, 19 December 2015

Feeling down

First, I want to say sorry that I haven't blogged in a long time but this week I haven't been feeling great. I had chemo on Monday through 'til Wednesday, and it was horrible- the nausea was unbearable!  Fortunately the nurses gave me a medicine which is a powerful anti sickness, however it kind of knocks you out, so on the Tuesday I was asleep for most of the day!When I was diagnosed I had to stay in hospital for a month! I really don't know how I coped, now only 3 days feels like forever! I came into the ward determined to spread some Christmas spirit, however I wasn't successful. Is it just me or does it not feel like Christmas at all? Christmas is only in 6 days and I'm not feeling the festive spirit at all!


 
Feeling down is the worst feeling ever, it feels as if you have a burden over you all the time. Recently, I've been feeling extremely down about my whole situation, this life isn't easy, and it all got on top of me. I miss my old life so much- I was healthy, sporty and social- now I have to live a life I don't even want. Everything about my new life is horrible, I cant go and meet my friends, I cant do sports and school, all the normality of my life is gone. Chemo, tests, scans, hospital, medication are all my new normal. It's understandable why this all got on top of me and I felt down, I am just so grateful to have such a supportive family to help me through this. This may be the life I don't want but I cant do anything about it, I just have to keep fighting and being strong.
REMEMBER: Everyone feels down sometimes, it makes you feel weak and hopeless. Don't let this weaken you, you are strong, you have to believe that you are strong enough to overcome it.
 
Team Ellie xxx

10 comments:

  1. Thinking of u always ell, ur an inspiration to us all!! Love your blogs! Xxx

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  2. You are amazing Ellie, it's ok to feel down sometimes especially with everything your going through.. being down only helps you to get up stronger and kick butt harder! Your fight and strength is truely inspirational! Xx

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  3. You are amazing Ellie, it's ok to feel down sometimes especially with everything your going through.. being down only helps you to get up stronger and kick butt harder! Your fight and strength is truely inspirational! Xx

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  5. Thank you for sharing and being an inspiration to us all. Remember in life there are always going to be people both better and worse off than us. My friend is looking after a refugee girl. 16 years old and her plight of 5 months through minefield n such likes is so hard to hear. When born none of us know what comes next. We must all be humble and do our best. In dark times it is worth remembering that at times life is a tunnel. It can be pitch black lonely and scary. But your friends will shine torches and your family giant stadium sized beacons of light. Have faith stay strong and be awsum! Sending loads of love and seasons greeting for a christmas that requires bikinis not snow boots (yes that's the reason it doesn't feel christmassy cos I agree it don't either) ❤xxxxxx - first post should have contained Santa's and christmas trees but they came out as question marks. Even Google reckons it's not feeling chrisymassy :((

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  6. Hey Ellie, sorry to hear that you are feeling down but that is not surprising with the tough treatment that you are going through. Remember that all of your friends and family are sending loads of love and thoughts. Try to use that as a cushion to rest on when times are bad. You will get through this so focus on the better days that will be ahead. Lots of love to you, Ali xxxx

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  7. Such powerful words Ell. You articulate yourself amazingly and I think if it gives you strength in writing about your journey and you certainly do it well, then that's fantastic. I too am not feeling the crimbo cheer at the moment and considering all you are going through I can imagine why you aren't. Continue to be strong as you are, continue to be an inspiration as you are and know this will be your old life at some point and no longer your normal. Lots of love and best wishes, Monique x

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  8. Such wise words spoken by a young voice darling. You are an amazing young lady and this horrible chapter in your life is bound to get you down but remember it is only a chapter and when you start the next one after the treatment is over you will be stronger and ready to make your life whatever you want it to be! Love you very much sweetheart xxxxx

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  9. Such wise words spoken by a young voice darling. You are an amazing young lady and this horrible chapter in your life is bound to get you down but remember it is only a chapter and when you start the next one after the treatment is over you will be stronger and ready to make your life whatever you want it to be! Love you very much sweetheart xxxxx

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  10. Ellie, this was us last Christmas spending the holidays fighting my 14 year old daughters Rhabdomyosarcoma. It was a tough year for her, a lonely year dealing with all of the same emotions you are and I am happy to tell you, you WILL get that life back. Kasey is now 3 months in remission and is back at school, soccer and hanging out with all of her friends again. If you want check her out at www.kaseyharvey.com and see how once you have kicked cancer to the curb life returns. Sending you lots of love Ellie, hang in there xxxx

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