Dealing with relationships when you have cancer +My cancer breakup story!!!

Having a partner if you get cancer is great as you have great support, however cancer can put strain on a relationship, I for one know this.

When I got cancer I had been dating this boy (I won't mention his name) for about 8 months. At the start he was very supportive and used to always check up on me, but gradually he stopped messaging me as much. When I finally got out of hospital, he came and visited me with my two friends, and he just seemed different around me. I know that our relationship wasn't going to be the same but i didn't think it was going to be this bad. Then, when I was getting my second chemo he decides to message me that he thinks we should break up. At this point I was feeling so nauseas from the chemo that I didn't bother trying to fight for our relationship- what was the point if he evidently didn't want to be in it anymore?

It just hurt me how easily he wanted to give up ,and that it would be totally different if the roles were reversed. I'm not trying to put the blame totally on him, I knew he cared but he was just too young & immature to deal with this sort of thing. What hurt me most is that after we broke up it was like I was totally erased from his life, I really tried keeping a friendship with him but he just didn't care.

The biggest stab in the back was when 3 weeks after we broke up he started dating the girl he was hanging out with whilst I was in hospital! That really made me wonder if he broke up with me because he got a better offer, a normal girl vs an ill girl- obviously he was going to choose her. We were broken up, so I understand that he could do whatever he likes, but I just thought he would have the decency to wait a couple more months before he started dating someone else. 

Dealing with your relationship when you have cancer

Me and my ex had such a great relationship before cancer came along, so I know how much a strain it can put on your relationship. So, here are a few tips on how to keep a good relationship with your partner.

• Have fun together! Chemotherapy and hospital visits can make you forget to have enjoyment together. Go out for a dinner date, watch a movie and look at photo albums.
• Tell your partner (with cancer) that you still care and no matter what happens you will love them the same.
• Remember that you two are a unit and that you are fighting this together.
• Talk openly about your emotions, feeling and concerns with each other.
• Support each other.

Also, don't be disheartened if you and your partner do break up as there is no point of staying with someone who doesn't want to care and support you. 

Happy Valentine's day!

Ellie x

Port or Hickman line?

One of the first decisions you are asked to make is the decision between the Port or the Hickman line. It can be a very hard choice as both has their own advantages and disadvantages. I'm here to make sure you get it right as it is stuck with you for the whole of your cancer journey.

Port

A Port is a small disc inserted underneath the skin connected to a catheter which connects the port to a vein. The port is usually in the chest and it stays in until Chemotherapy is over. The port is chosen more by teens and adults.

                       Pros                                                                                      Cons

-    Hidden under the skin.                                                      -    Not repairable.    
-    You can have baths and go swimming.                             -    Skill is required to access it.
-    No external lines.                                                               -    Special needle is required.
-    No daily care.                                                                     -    More difficult to repair.

Hickman line

A Hickman line is a long thin tube inserted into a vein in your chest. The Hickman line usually come out near the collar bone and it stays in until Chemotherapy is over. The Hickman line is more suited for children.

 

                     Pros                                                                                          Cons

-    Easy to insert and remove.                                          -    Daily care (Daily flush).

-    Easily repaired.                                                           -    May restrict activities.

-    No needle pokes.                                                         -    Could get tugged.

                                                                                          -    Caregivers require training.

                                                                                          -    Not able to have baths or go                 

                                                                                                               swimming.

                                                                                          -    Weekly dressing changes.

Comparing the Port and the Hickman line

Both the Hickman line and Port have their advantages and disadvantages. The Hickman line is great for children as there isn't much pain, whereas the Port has to stabbed with needles which can cause pain and isn't ideal for people who hate needles. The port is very easy to maintain unlike the Hickman line which has to be cared for daily. Also, you can't go swimming or have a bath with a Hickman line because you can't get it wet, personally I think a relaxing bath is very therapeutic for a cancer patient so the Hickman line may not be best for you. Finally, due to the Hickman line's external lines it has a higher risk of infection compared with the port.

I hope I have made you come to a decision, and I wish you the best of luck with your cancer treatment!

Ellie x                                                                                                        

World Cancer Day 2016

Happy World Cancer day everybody! I hope you are all wearing your Unity bands.

Today has really made me reflect on my own cancer experience, and also for others in the future. So I got researching on some statistics, and an estimated 7.6 million people die of cancer every year! The mortality rate of cancer has halved in the last 40 years but I still can't get over that number...7.6 million people- that is so many innocent lives. However, in comparison it's estimated that 1 in 2 people will get cancer. Even though, 7.6 million deaths due to cancer is scary, the fact that 1 in 2 people are estimated to get cancer in their lifetime is even more worrying. 

Cancer is taking the world by storm! In the past month, 4 celebrities and 670,000 people have died of the horrid disease. If we don't do something now, it won't be stopped.

So, donate now to Cancer Research UK, with your donation we can help fund life-saving research. If we don't do something now, then it will be the next generation who will have to truly suffer.

LET'S MAKE THIS THE BEST EVER WORLD CANCER DAY BY DONATING NOW!!!

Please donate at http://www.cancerresearchuk.org.
Thank you for reading.

Ellie x